I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
barbara walters just said penis...
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I just had sex on a roof
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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