i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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