Kiss
Puke
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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