Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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