Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
