I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
