my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
