I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
