Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
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