he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
