shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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