White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
