That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
