Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
