Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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