Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
thus making me awesome and them whores
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
