you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
