When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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