She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
