We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Michael Bay diarrhea
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
