Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
