I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
