left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
