oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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