Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Randomize
