how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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