Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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