i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
