Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
