my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
