No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
