D3 body, D1 cock
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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