Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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