I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
