yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
