i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
