Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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