I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
