I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
