How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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