yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
