yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
