I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
