6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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