it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
