Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
