i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
