it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
