On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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