Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
